If you die in college, do you die in real life?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
