Grow some girl-balls and come out already
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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