just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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