I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
