its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
