Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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