just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
