dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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