i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
