His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
