I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
