Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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