Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
