Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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