Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
