They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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