oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
