Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
