so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
