Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize