you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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