i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
