I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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