I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
