there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
