We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
