Do vagina's smell?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
