a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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