last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
