Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
