so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
