It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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