Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
