i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
