but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My balls are so social today.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
