I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
