You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
