Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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