He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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