the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize