How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
