Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize