i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
