Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
