Christians are straight up FREAKS
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
