Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
