wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
