I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize