It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
