Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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