ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize