I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
