I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
