it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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