I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
