i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
