Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
