too bad you live with your parents still
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
